When do I become an adult?

Don’t let this photo and my baby face fool you. I’m actually legally allowed to drink alcohol, drive and buy a lottery ticket.

But with 2019 to be the year I turn 23 I’ve started asking myself, ‘Am I an adult yet?’ Because I bloody well don’t feel like one.

I’d like to think I’ve matured massively since leaving university – even though I was pretty mature already.

I don’t go out partying or wasting my money on things I really don’t need.

Nor do I feel the need to ring my parents every 5 minutes to ask how to work the washing machine, or how do you know if potatoes are off.

But I still feel like I’m in this in-between stage.

Not really a fully grown adult but no longer a student.

To me adults are people who have a mortgage, kids, a car and go abroad for 2 weeks in summer.

Which is clearly a stereotype I’ve learnt from my upbringing and seeing my parents and other families doing the same.

But then I look at my brother. He’s 10 years old than me, doesn’t have a mortgage or kids but is someone I still consider to be an adult.

In the eyes of the law I’m technically an adult too.

I have rent and bills to pay. I can drink alcohol if I want to and I have a pretty good income for my age.

But why do I still feel like a teenager on the inside and out.

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I know to my parents and family I will always be the younger sibling, their little girl. But I’m sick of feeling like that with people who aren’t close to me.

I’d like to think that I’m mature and confident for my age, but it’s my age which is holding me back.

I’m 22, I’m technically an adult but I feel like a teenager still.

Being a millennial doesn’t help my cause either.

Maybe I should come up with a new name for this transition stage between student life and my 30’s to make me feel more adult and less millennial?

A name that allows me to spend my money without feeling guilty, be spontaneous whilst also being respected by real adults.

Because that’s all I really want.

To feel equal to those older than me who look down on me for my age and youth.

I’m classed as a millennial and apparently spend too much on brunch to be able to get on the property ladder.

I might not feel like an adult but I am on. Whether society likes it or not.

I don’t know when I will start to feel like an adult. Maybe it’s something that just comes naturally as you get older.

Or it’ll only happen when I do have kids. When I’m suddenly no longer the youngest person in my family, and I actually have to look after another human.

But despite my childish antics at times and my willingness to spend my savings on a city break rather than putting it into an ISA, I’m an adult.

I guess I better start believing it.

Do you consider yourself to be an adult yet? Let me know why/why not in the comments and what age you’d consider another person an adult.



  1. February 20, 2019 / 2:58 pm

    Hmm, I think the 20s is such a tumultuous time in a person’s life that it is rare to feel like an ‘adult’. I have definitely had periods when I have felt more mature, such as when my career has been going well or the independence I felt after my first year of uni. But right now I still live at home as I haven’t saved up enough money to be able to rent in London, so I definitely don’t feel much like an adult!

    I think that in life most people have no idea what they are doing, and in our head being an ‘adult’ is to have everything under control. In reality that isn’t necessarily what happens, but instead we read a stage where we feel slightly more comfortable with how things are.

    In all, definitely don’t worry about waking up one day and suddenly feeling like an adult. You are doing great as you are 🙂

    • February 20, 2019 / 3:07 pm

      I think you’re right. Your 20s is such a strange time in your life. One moment you feel like an adult and ready to take on the world, another moment you just want to ring your parents

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