The perks of having a smaller friendship group emmixbowles coffee autumn Starbucks manchester

I’m a bit of a loner. An introvert disguising myself as an extrovert. There’s no doubt about that.

I can probably count on one hand how many people I’d have to choose between for maid of honour if I get married.

And I’m ok with that. 

Being a loner or having a small number of close friends shouldn’t be seen as a bad thing. But for many of us it is.

In the social world we are so caught up on have a large number of friends on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram followers or subscribers. 

The bigger the number the more popular we then to think we are. The more likeable we are.

And the smaller the number the more we doubt ourselves – do people like me? What am I doing wrong?

I try really hard not to get caught up with number in my online social life, because they’re not something I worry about in my personal social life.


I’d like to think that I have a few friends who I can go for a drink with, or people who’d be happy for me if I got some really good news.

But I’m ok with my friendships being limited. I’m ok with that number being small.

Because for me it’s not about the number but about the quality of that friendship.

I probably have 4 REALLY good friends. As in the type of friends I could go crash on their sofa if I needed somewhere to sleep for a few nights. The type of friends who buy you a coffee to cheer you up. The type of friends who will never judge you but will still be honest with you.

My BEST friend lives miles away from me and we haven’t seen each other in months. But that doesn’t make us less-friends. emmixbowles coffee starbuclks jumper autumn
Take by a friend

Having a small, intimate friendship actually makes like a lot easier for multiple reasons.


You have less presents to buy at Christmas – which sounds super selfish but trust me when you have family members, secret Santa’s, boyfriend family members and friends to buy for it’s nice having that list reduced.

I sound like a proper cheap skate but let’s be real! Christmas, Birthdays, nights out, days out. It all adds up.

Buying a round of drinks for more than 4 people is ridiculous. I love my friends and I will always treat them when I can – which is more often due to not having so many people to treat.


Have you ever tried to arrange a day out with a massive group of friends. Catering for everyone’s needs, schedulers and awkward eating habits. It’s a nightmare.

When it’s just the two of you everything becomes simpler.

Even group chats are bad when you get more than 4 people involved. 

Have less friends means less notifications and I for one am happy for it when I come home after working on social media all day.


Now I’m only speaking from experience but for me the bigger the friendship group the more likely people are to bitch about each other and I can’t even be bothered with that.

I’m very lucky that I have friends who have been with me when I’ve ben at my highest and my lowest.

They understand my moods better than my boyfriend. We’re on the same wave length and we just get each other.

We don’t even need to speak at times, we just know what the other is thinking. And I will take that over a massive friendship group any day!

I’ve very lucky to have a small number of friends I can trust with anything. I can turn to them in my hour of need or when I need to share something hilarious with them.

I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them!

How big if your friendship group? What do you prefer, lots of fiends or a small more intimate group of mates?


Leave a Reply

Your e-mail address will not be published. Required fields are marked *