I don’t know about you but I really don’t feel 22

Justemmi.com emmixbowles growing up birthday adulthood

Yesterday I turned 22. But I held off from singing that infamous Taylor Swift song.

I find it hard to remember my age sometimes, mainly because I still feel a bit out of my depth in life and have no idea what I’m doing.

But at the same time I’m still trying to act like a grown up and prove to everyone that I can do this thing called adulthood.

Despite being 22 I’m not out partying all the time or drinking alcohol. I don’t go on spontaneous girls holidays or buy expensive makeup and accessories.

So instead of having a night on the town or a big birthday bash, what did I do for my birthday yesterday?

I had a takeaway and watched Netflix.

I’ve never been one to act my age, in fact I’ve always acted a lot older – not something my parents were pleased with when I was talking back to them at 13.

I’ve always been that person wishing to be older saying, “I can’t wait until I’m 16, 18, 21.”

Not because I wanted to be older but so I was able to have more freedom with my life.

I don’t want to be older – nobody does really.

I also don’t want to always be known as the sensible one either. But it’s a comment I always get when people ask how old I am.

“Wow I thought you were older” or “you’re so mature for your age.”

We’re expected act a certain way in our 20’s and it’s very contradicting.

We’re expected to be making mistakes, getting pissed and acting childish every weekend as the rowdy youth of society. All whilst also having everything under control, a 5 year life plan and to be the future of society.

It’s all very confusing when you’re in your 20’s and still trying to juggle a full-time job and not eating spaghetti hoops every night.

The saying goes ‘another year older another year wiser’ but despite my mature manner and sensibility I still feel like an 18-year-old trying to find their feet in this world.

I could have done one of those ’22 things I’ve learnt in 22 years’ posts but honestly I don’t know what I’ve learnt – mainly because I’m still learning it.

I’m still young and even though I do act a lot older than my actual age I still don’t feel like a proper adult.

Every month something new happens in my life, my career and myself that makes me feel like I’m growing up and things are moving a lot faster.

But then I get asked my age and I realise that I’ve literally just left university, I’ve just started my 20’s and I’ve got my whole life ahead of me.

Recently I’ve been worrying about saving for a mortgage but then I remember that I’m 22 and Paul’s 27.

I always feel like there’s this urgency to save money, to get a mortgage, to get engaged, to have kids. But then I remember I’ve got years to think about all this.

I don’t feel like I’m 22 and I don’t act like it either, but maybe I should just for one year and see what happens.



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