Why it’s OK to keep your walls up

JustEmmi.com Emmixbowles walls person

We’re all human. We’re emotional, vulnerable and scared. Although we might not all show it, these are some of the many things that make us who we are.

Throughout life we open up, we let people in and we make mistakes. We get scared, we get hurt and we build these imaginary walls that help to make us feel safe and protected.

Theses walls are pretty much always classed as being a negative thing. It’s like we’re not being ourselves or honest if we don’t let them down. Personally I think that this is complete bullshit!

As long as you’re not lying to people about important things then who cares what you keep to yourself. Your past, your issues and your thoughts are your own.

Nobody needs to know what political party you vote for if you don’t want them to, nor do they need to know if you’ve got something going on outside of work or school.

As long as it’s not affecting your ability to be you, to go to work or school, to function as a human being then who the hell cares! It’s your life nobody else’s!

I like to consider myself an open book to a point. If you ask me about something specific that has happened in my life I will give you an honest answer. But I don’t go shouting about it to the whole world.

Throughout my life whether it be school, university or work the people I surrounded myself with didn’t know everything about me. Even my closest friends.

I had my moments where I would open up a bit but nobody got the full story.

I’m also very honest and open on this blog but there are many things about myself that I keep tucked behind my little castle walls.

Occasionally you’ll get a snippet but the rest of the book is kept closed. And that’s OK.

Keeping my walls up makes me feel safe and protects me from the uncertainty of life.

We’re told that if we want to succeed in relationships, romantic or otherwise, we need to let our guard down. Let those people inside so they can see a bit of the interior and get to know why it is the way it is.

This is great and can be very healthy for a relationship.

But it’s also OK to not let those people in completely. Even if they’re the love of your life, because the truth is, sometimes we need to keep a little bit locked away just for ourselves, because they don’t need to know the nitty-gritty details.

If you take bullying as an example. I will openly say that I was bullied at school but what I went through, those feelings, the emotion, the hurt and everything that was going through my head at the time I will probably never share. And that’s OK.

There will always be parts of our lives we don’t want others to know about and it’s normal.

We want to portray the best parts of ourselves, and even if we talk about something negative we want there to be a happily ever after moment at the end.

That doesn’t make us fake or any less true to ourselves. It makes us human. Nobody is 100% open, whether it’s a bad habit or something very personal we all keep things to ourselves. It would be weird not to.

Think about social media. The only negative things people post about come from a form of anger. A complaint about something or a bad review.

Rarely to we talk about the things we don’t like about ourselves – unless it’s part of a positive campaign to talk bad about ourselves.

It’s basic human instinct to portray the best about ourselves. It’s OK to want to keep the things you don’t like hidden and to have that safety net so you don’t get hurt or make yourself vulnerable.

We’re human and just like we want security in terms of physical things like a house, money and a job, we need emotional and mental security too.

As long as you’re happy with yourself and you know that the stuff you keep behind those walls does not affect you or matter in your life anymore then that’s OK.

The past is the past and it’s allowed to stay that way.



  1. Em
    March 21, 2018 / 12:45 pm

    I definitely think you’re on to something with this post. I am really guilty of over sharing when it comes to social media. I Personally don’t think having walls up makes you any less of a person as some people do. I don’t think its stand offish either. Its just how people are.
    Emmi this post has given me a lot to think about.

    • March 21, 2018 / 12:48 pm

      I’m glad it got you thinking ☺️

  2. June 18, 2018 / 6:26 am

    Wow, what an interesting post to read! I’m someone who has massive walls up so for me I think I do need to let them down a bit and I’ve always thought that, but at the same time I didn’t really notice that to a point I am actually quite an open book as well, which is something I think I’ve overlooked because there are other things that I will not open up about at all. Reading this post really made me think differently about how I view the walls I have up, and how maybe sometimes some of the walls I have up are OK.

    Julia // The Sunday Mode

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