Hello love birds. Do you ever get that feeling that you and your partner don’t really do anything together? You live together. Eat together. Sleep together, maybe even shower together but you don’t really DO anything.
Paul and I have been together for a whopping 4 years now (how he’s put up with me for that long I don’t know) and we’ve been living together for the past 5 months. But despite being in the same house and around each other all the time it feels like we never really do stuff together anymore. Not like we used to anyway.
We were one of those weekend couples when we first got together. Due to distance we only had Friday to Sunday together so we tried to made the most of it. Whether it was going out for food, heading to the cinema or just for a drive. We usually did something fun on the weekends.
Now we’re spending pretty much every day at home doing normal things. Watching TV. Cooking dinner and then going to bed.
Our relationship has changed because our time together is no longer limited. We’ve got all day, everyday to spend with each other so we’ve started to settle into that stereotypical “married lifestyle”.
Deciding that we don’t want to be that boring, stay at home couple we’ve agreed to set out time for our relationship. That’s right, we’ve now become that couple that have “date nights” – or shall I say I’ve told Paul that we are having dating nights.
Our first date night was down to Paul to plan. I got a text saying “guess what we’re doing tonight” which made me very anxious. I can’t deal with surprises very well.
Luckily it was a very good surprise as he had got tickets to see Manchester United play.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Going to a football match snit exactly a date night. But I quite enjoyed it. It was something that I knew he would enjoy and therefore wouldn’t be on his phone or wanting to go home, and I’d never been to a match before. With Manchester now being my home it was very fitting.
A lot of couples have a date night when they get older and have kids and can’t fit in that special time together.
But personally I think having a specific day of the week or month that is dedicated to your relationship is so important.
Just because you live together or have kids doesn’t mean that you can’t still go out and do all the fun stuff you used to do.
Whether it’s something simple like going to the cinema or a weekend away.
Turning your phones off and dedicating your full attention to each other is what can really make a relationship last rather than fizzle out.
It can be so easy for relationships to lose their spark once you move in together. You argue over silly things and eventually it just becomes a routine rather than a relationship.
We live on our phones and stop talking to each other like we used to. We get into this routine of work, eat, Netflix and sleep and it rarely changes. – This is why we all need a date night in our lives!
Although it might not be easy to find a whole day or evening when you haven’t got things to do, it’s so important to spend this quality time together.
Even if you’re a bit strapped for cash due to all the new bills and utilities you’re paying out for, you can still do things for free. Go for a walk. Visit a museum. Heck go and feed the ducks. As long as you’re out together it doesn’t really matter what it is.
Don’t let things get boring, stagnant or become a routine. Just shake it up a bit. Trust me you won’t regret it.
© Emmi Bowles