Sometimes I feel like Hannah Montana. I have my personal “home” life with my friends and family and then there’s my social media blogger life with all of you lot; this time last year the two would never have collided.
I’ve always been a very private person and the idea of sharing my blog with people I know in real life was something that freaked me out. Not because I was ashamed of it or thought that people wouldn’t “get it” but because it’s my baby. It’s my safe space to express my opinions, and I didn’t want my personal life getting involved in my blogging life, so I kept it hidden – to the point that if someone I knew found my blog I’d delete it and start again.
Although things have changed and I’ve opened up more about my life as a blogger to people in my personal life, it’s hard to shake the feeling that I am still living a double life.
There’s Emmi, the girl from Cornwall who now lives and works in Manchester, drinks tea and works 9 to 5. Then there’s Emmi, the blogger who is opinionated, into photography and loves a good brunch. Although these are things that crop up in my life as a whole, there are some things that I keep just for my personal or blogging life.
In “real life” and at work I keep myself to myself mainly, get on with my job and life. I don’t raise my voice a much as one might should. I don’t speak out of line and I don’t talk about my blog (although this is changing).
Yet when it comes to blogging I speak up. I talk about periods. I open up and let you all into my life – more so than some of my friends and family. This is probably due to the fact that I’m slightly hidden behind my laptop so there’s a sense of security and safety. But also because of how open and accepting the blogging community can be. I can shout about periods and nobody really cares, but I’m pretty sure I can’t do that at work or in the shop… (Maybe I’ll try it)
Although I now share my blog on my personal social media accounts for everyone to see if they want to, there will always be a part of me that feels like Hannah Montana. I don’t mind people reading my blog but when they confront me about it then a part of me curls up.
It’s great hearing people say they like your blog and talk to you about it, but apart of me will always feel like it’s something they shouldn’t know about. I know how important it is to share your content and allow others to read it but it just feels wrong when my family see posts about periods and my relationship.
Don’t get me wrong I am so proud of my little space on the internet and how far it has come over the past year but that doesn’t mean I have to let both my blogging and my personal life collide. I’ve tried to find the balance of sharing my content to my social media, but not inviting people I know in “real life” to read it – if they stumble upon it then that’s fine. If not then that’s fine too. I’m happy living my double life, but I know in the future it may have to merge into one.
© Emmi Bowles
-Sorry for the lack of posts. Life has been pretty busy recently! But you’ve got a week load of posts coming soon!-